Robert's Rants
Robert's Rants
A personal blog on the Canadian pesticide industry and other pet peeves and interests

Driver Test – first right answer gets a week in Bermuda

I’m heading to work the other morning…Hiway 27.

Real easy up to Dixon, left at Skyway, left on Meridian and into Gardex.

No big deal.  Until you reach that stretch where it merges with the 6 lanes of the 427/401, which soon splits into 8 lanes heading north and west and east all at the same time.  Trust me, it does somehow.

Just as I make it to the point of merging with this nightmare, the grandfather in front of me (heading to Shoppers Drug Mart to celebrate his 84th birthday) freaks out and drops to 60 kph.   Whoa there pops!   I follow suit or eat his spare tire for breakfast.  Horns blaring, fingers waving!   Only half the peace sign though…what’s up with that?

At the exact same moment, the girl in the green Mercury Topaz on my right realizes she is running out of lane.  Even though someone has put up 10 signs the last 5 miles saying “MERGE YOU IDIOT”, and she decides to cut between Gramps and myself.

(No way am I letting her in…dream on sister!)

Then to make matters worse…..a delivery van in the far left lane of the 427 suddenly realizes he needs to exit and cuts across 4 lanes to squeeze in front of Gramps…after all there’s a huge gap left by the rapid drop in speed.

Kinda like 4 people wanting to share the exact same space at the exact same time in the exact same plane of existence.  Cosmic….

I’m ready to close my eyes and meet my maker!

So here’s the  Test:

1.)  What color of eye shadow was the girl applying while late to work?

2.) Was the delivery driver using the correct hand while talking on his cell?  And which hand was it?


3.)  Did Gramps make it to Shoppers, re-new his glaucoma medication and live happily ever after?

Address all answers to my laptop, and I’ll check ’em driving back home tonite!