Robert's Rants
Robert's Rants
A personal blog on the Canadian pesticide industry and other pet peeves and interests

Licensing….anyone can drive (it seems) so why not spray pesticides???

First off, I’m surprised two months have gone by without a RANT!   And I’ve had “ranting my butt off” ideas everyday.  You just have to wake up and the stupidity starts.

Anyway…typical scenario:

Bbbbrrriiiing  bbbbrrrinnng (my version of a phone ringing)

“Good morning Gardex Chemicals, Samatta speaking”.

“Oh hi, My name’s Betty Homecottage and I want to buy a product called Dragalude to spray around my house, I hear that’s what the professionals use.”

Gardex:   “Well we can only sell that to licensed customers, you need to have a pesticide license in order to purchase it. And if you’re in business we need your Operator’s license, driver’s license, library card and a copy of your bus pass. So I really can’t sell you.”

(okay…not quite as bad as that)

Customer:  “That’s what I thought.  Will a Structural Pesticide license work?   I just passed the open book on-line test after the 5th time and have that license.”

Gardex:  “A structural license does let you purchase the product, yes.”

Customer:  “And I also took the Mosquito Biting, Fumigation and Seed Treatment courses online and managed to pass 75% on all of them!!! With my two sons looking over my shoulder a bit…”

Gardex:  “Holy smokes, you must know a lot about pests, pesticides and the whole proper use of the products we sell.”

“Not really,” replies Betty, “Since it’s online and open-book it wasn’t too difficult.  And needing only 75% right for 10 multiple choice questions I had a pretty good chance of passing. Go figure!”

Samatta asks,   “What insect species are you targeting anyway?”

Betty, “Species???”

“You know, insect species, type of bug…like oriental or German cockroach.  It helps to know their life cycles, biology.”

“Oh hell”,  laughs Betty, “why do I want to kill a roach in Germany? And I was crappy at science.  I just want something to kill all the bugs, I don’t know one from another.”

“And how will you apply it, since it’s a concentrated pyrethroid?”  further probes Gardex Samatta.

“Pie what?  You’re really trying to confuse me.  None of this was in the damn course.  You’re telling me I need to know insect species, type of chemicals and how to apply them???”

“That would be smart, just for starters, yes”  Samatta responds.  “You need to know all  the safety equipment, handling, how to read a label…lots of stuff!”

“I remember reading some of that.  Especially not to spray upwind in a thunderstorm, that seemed important.”

Samatta, “You know I think you should call a professional, they can at least evaluate your problem.”

“Well hell, I’ll just go to Homemart and buy something myself”  Betty harrumphs (now when else could I ever have used that word.)

Samatta breathes a sigh of relief, and answers the next call:

“Gardex, can I help you?”

“Hi this is Billybob, I’ve got 2 tomato plants and just passed the Growers Course…..”